Wednesday, 3 August 2016

POEM - Advice on Becoming a Bouncy Castle

Recently, I've been asked my friends on facebook to suggest ideas for poems for me to write. This is ostensibly because I am practising writing to commission, but it is also because I'm in a bit of a creative drought at the moment. So, this is a very silly poem based on a suggestion by Jim Hall:

Advice on Becoming a Bouncy Castle

Adopt a sedentary lifestyle

Extol the virtues of hot air


Lie down in parks and suburban gardens

Only go somewhere if you have been hired to do so.


Remove the word ‘shoes’ from your vocabulary

Become hopelessly appealing to toddlers and drunk people


Remember that every action has an equal & opposite

chance of someone being elbowed in the face.


Secure the best spot at every village fete

Take pride in making small children throw up


Leave every party deflated

Fold up small for easy storage.

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