This one's been rolling around in my brain for a few days now. So I thought I would start this year's endeavour with a silly one about one of my favourite parts of the English language:
Now, just let me just tell you – before we begin –
I’m really not stupid, it’s just homonyms:
My brain is too full and I can’t let them in!
I promise I’m clever! It’s just homonyms!
Look, when you say ‘fine’, is that great or okay?
Or were you just hoping to ruin my day?
Is ‘novel’ a book or a winsome idea?
If I tear my dress would you shed me a tear?
Would you be upset if I moped on a moped?
Is ‘die’ like a dice, or do you want me dead?
Forgive me. It really does seem like I’m moaning,
But does menstruation need period clothing?
Is ‘fast’ moving quickly, or stuck in one place?
Do watches stand guard or have hands on their face?
Can I bear a bear and be barred from a bar?
Do you see what a mess all these homonyms are?
If I wound a bandage around a fresh wound
Would anyone get what I’m trying to prove?
Does ‘cool’ mean degrees or a measure of keenness?
And when you say ‘cock’, is it rooster or penis?
Can I set a timer for jelly to set?
And still set a trap while my sail is set?
I know that this poem’s disturbing the peace,
So are you content for this content to cease?
Can I run a bath and still run for the bus?
Or cut class and cut grass and protest The Cuts?
Would it break your heart not to give me a break?
I really don’t know how much more I can take!
|Handwriting is my favourite kind of writing!|