Saturday, 16 April 2016

POEM - Evil Twin


My evil twin’s been here again
To ruin all my clothes,
Ripping buttons off my shirts
And staining the elbows.

My evil twin’s been here again;
She’s eaten all the jam
And left the dishes in the sink.
She doesn’t give a damn.

My evil twin’s been here again;
The smell of burning lingers.
The windows have been smudged and smeared
By doppelgänger fingers.

My evil twin’s been here again;
She’s left me no clean pants.
There’s biscuits crumbs on everything;
We’re going to get ants!

My evil twin’s been here again;
She’s over-fed the cat!
He’s like a fuzzy cushion now,
He’s huge and round and fat!

My evil twin’s been here again;
There’s mud on all the floors.
She’s unlocked all the windows
And she’s opened all the doors.

My evil twin’s been here again –
She’s pissed inside my vase!
And I can see it sloshing round
When I lift up the glass!

My evil twin’s been here again;
It looks as though she’s scarpered,
But not before she vomited
All over my new carpet!

My evil twin’s been here again
She’s made a mess all over –
It’s funny that she only comes
On days when I’m hungover.

Evil Twin = goatee, right?

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