Saturday, 9 January 2016

POEM - If I Were A Dinosaur


So, later this month, I'm doing a load of workshops in schools, working with a large group of eleven- and twelve-year-olds. Given that some of my stuff is in no way suitable for that age group (at least, if I want to booked by the same school again in the future) I've had to write some more child-friendly poems. This is the first one. I hope you like it!


If I were a dinosaur
I'd sort the whole world out –
I'd get a bigger bedroom first
Of that there is no doubt.

Coz if I were a dinosaur
I'd get my due respect.
I'd get the best seats on the bus
And things would be perfect.

See, if I were a dinosaur
I'd make the bullies pay.
I'd roar at them with stinky breath
And then they'd run away.

And If I were a dinosaur
I'd eat the neighbour's dog.
And that would stop it barking
While I'm sleeping like a log.

And if I were a dinosaur
I'd never do homework –
I'd eat the history teacher
And then smirk a dino smirk.

And if I were a dinosaur
I'd have enormous claws.
I could get my heart's desire
While gnashing giant jaws.

And if I were a dinosaur
I'd never have to queue.
I'd be the first in line at shops
And at the football too.

See, if I were a dinosaur
I'd always get my way.
People would be scared of me
And do just what I say.

But if I were a dinosaur
My arms would be quite small
I couldn't play my xbox
Or shoot hoops in basketball.

And if I were a dinosaur
I'd scare away my friends
And then I'd be all by myself
On evenings and weekends.

And if I were a dinosaur
I couldn't sleep inside
My house would be too small for me
I'd have to sleep outside.

And if I were a dinosaur
I couldn't even talk
And with my tiny arms
I couldn't write it down with chalk.

And if I were a dinosaur
I couldn't ride the bus
My body wouldn't fit inside
And folks would make a fuss.

And if I were a dinosaur
I couldn't go to school –
They'd put me in a zoo instead
And that would not be cool.

And if I were a dinosaur
I wouldn't get my way
Instead people would scream and shout
And then they'd run away.

Turns out, to be a dinosaur
Isn't what it's cracked up to be.
Maybe I'll just be myself
It's okay being me.

'Rawr!' means 'I love you' in dinosaur

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