Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Christmas Clerihews

I'm a tiny bit obsessed by Clerihews at the moment, so I thought I'd do a few Christmas/New Year's themed ones, to keep myself busy during that weird Crimbo-Limbo period.

In case you're new to them, a Clerihew is a silly pseudo-biographical rhyme that takes a well-known person and imagines them in a completely different - and preferably ridiculous - light.

Clerihews are supposed to have an AABB rhyme scheme, a varying meter and a lot of forced rhymes, which makes them perfect for a little bit of seasonal silliness:
Santa Claus
breeds dinosaurs.
All the reindeer ran away –
now the raptors pull the sleigh.

The Krampus
has Sky Plus.
So when he's out eating babies
can you record Match of the Day, please?

The Queen
is completely green.
But she isn't a lizard, like Ike says,
she's just glued herself into some baize.

Jools Holland
likes eating pollen.
His mother was one quarter bee,
which explains the strange way that he speaks.

Krampus (not Jools Holland)

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