Merry Christmas to all of you who are celebrating this year! I've managed to write a Christmas themed poem this year. It's a mix of A Visit from Saint Nicholas and Home Alone - if both of those stories had a cat as the main character. I hope you like it!
Our cat saves Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the flat
Not a creature was stirring, not even our cat.
The moggy was motionless, guarding the door.
She knew that he'd be there. This time, it was War!
Soon the intruder would creep through the flat,
Wheezing and gasping, for he was quite fat.
And none of the humans would notice the noise.
It was left to the cat now, to foil his ploy!
At once, on the landing, there came such a clatter,
The cat ran and hid – her bravado was shattered.
And then, came a scratching of key finding lock,
The cat stood stock still, her brain still in shock.
From under the Christmas tree then, the cat saw
A man with a bin bag slip in though the door.
His eyes were red-rimmed, and his clothes stank of gin.
And he had yellow hair sticking out of his chin.
A vagabond villain, so sneaky and quick,
The cat knew at once that this guy was a prick.
He swept through the room, eyeing all the swag,
And started to slip things into his bin bag.
“An X-box! A laptop! These presents and trinkets!
“And look! These kind folk have left brandy and biscuits!”
He sat down to eat, and the cat saw her chance,
She skirted the sofa, and made her advance.
She slid round the table and up to the chair,
The man was distracted and quite unaware.
The cat felt her heart leap, her nerves all a-tangle,
But bravely she sunk her teeth deep in his ankle.
The man bit his tongue down to stifle his screams,
But the cat held on tight, griping flesh through the jeans.
The man kicked the cat off, and loudly he swore,
Then both of them noticed the chap by the door.
He wore shining fur, from his head to his toes,
He had twinkly eyes, and a rosy red nose.
And out from his bundle, a pistol he drew,
“I think that you had better leave now, don't you?”
The thief was disgruntled, but couldn't compete
with a gun-toting rival, and made his retreat.
The cat, slightly shaken, bristled with fear
For this was the geezer who'd wronged her last year!
The old man Ho-ho'd, and then he cried “Blast it!
“He's had all my biscuits and brandy, that bastard!”
The man scratched his chin, under beard white as snow,
And said, “I see where you're hiding, you know.”
He reached for the cat, as he came close
She hissed and she threatened to scratch his red nose!
“Shhh,” said the stranger. “There's nothing to fear,
“And I'm sorry I stood on your tail last year.”
But, though he protested, the cat wouldn't budge –
There's nothing so strong as a cat with a grudge.
So he tidied the room, and left all the gifts,
And went to continue his festive night shift.
He'd given her turkey, on a silvery dish
(For that was her one special Christmas-y wish)
And as she devoured her holiday haul,
She mused that Saint Nick was quite nice, after all.