This month, I've been writing a couple of commissioned pieces of poetry for various people. One of these commissions was a poem for a friend's wedding. Somehow, my first attempt at marriage poetry quickly became a ditty about snails.
This is probably not the romantic expression of love that my friends were searching for.
I figured this poem was probably not right for their big day, but I still kinda liked it. Maybe I'll save it for my own nuptials. (Actual wedding TBC)
Snails are judicious creatures,
But they aren't monogamous.
Luckily we are not snails,
So this can't relate to us.
After all, they're gastropods –
Molluscs who don't mate for life.
What I'm trying to say, my darling:Is would you please become my wife?
Snails are hermaphrodites –
And each one has all the parts.
I can't boast such grand equipment,
But you'll always have my heart.
Plus, snails mate for twenty hours
(After which they both lay eggs).
Thank the stars, we are not snails.
How about it? Let's get wed!