I've been reading a lot of fairy tales recently, and it struck me that the witches in these stories get bad rap. So, in the interests of subverting well-worn Western archetypes, I've written a poem about a chic and fashionable sorceress.
(The structure for this poem is based on an excellent poem by Luke Wright called Fat Dandy - you should definitely check it out.)
Anyway, I don't think this is finished quite yet, but have a look and see what you think...
Polished pins in skin tight jeans,
A necromancing beauty queen.
She'll wreck your home and eat your kids
But wear a tracksuit? Gods forbid!
With snakes for hair, she sets the trends
And never, ever has split ends.
Socks and sandals make her twitch –
Look out! Look out! It's Glamour Witch!
Out all night, asleep all day,
She's wearing brogues ironically.
In her purse there's eye of newt,
MAC lipstick and mandrake root.
A stunner with a blood red aura;
Trendy, chic – a gorgeous horror.
Low grade products make her itch:
Sensitive skin. Glamour Witch.
All togged up, always on duty,
More fab than dozy Sleeping Beauty.
Won't be mistook for someone's nan;
She gave Snow White her first fake tan.
Rapunzel got a Pixie Crop;
This reign of terror has to stop.
Whether preppy, goth or kitsch
Fashion victim: Glamour Witch.
Dressed in clothes you can't afford;
Her tentacles are manicured.
Her cauldron's made by Ralph Lauren
Embellished with the skulls of men.
You won't be cursed into a toad,
A handbag's much more 'a la mode'.
Turns guys to stone to get her kicks.
Antisocial: Glamour Witch.
Human teeth worn just like jewels,
Silk head scarves and man-skin mules.
Hand on hip, she strikes a pose,
Apparelled in enchanted clothes.
She'll kill you if you call her warty
She's no old crone (she's barely forty!)
Her outfit's tailored, every stitch –
Super evil, Glamour Witch!