an arrogant hoarder, a thrifty old fool.
He drained people dry, like a louse or a flea,
but he gets his comeuppance, just you wait and see.
This miserly monarch, he loved all his fashions,
but kept a close eye on the cash he was splashing.
Ignoring the fine print, forgoing the jargon
for coupons and savings and freebies and bargains.
While browsing one day on an auctioning site
he found a new suit made of fabric so light
it would sparkle and shimmer and fit like a glove.
Though there were no photos, the King fell in love.
The suit came with shirt and with waistcoat and jacket
plus it was new and was still in the packet!
And it was selling for under half price!
He couldn't pass up on an offer so nice!
He ordered his servants to buy it from Ebay.
(Other sites are available too, by the way.)
It came the next day, in a package so small
as if it contained almost nothing at all.
His maids, ever sceptical, opened the box
and found packing paper, instructions, and socks.
The manual said that the suit was unique
made from unicorn mare, and seasonably chic.
But the fabric could only be seen by the wise.
So the King slipped it on – it was just the right size!
He was so swept away by the mood he was in
that he swore he felt cloth nestling next to his skin.
He adjusted the collar, and pulled down the cuffs –
all his servants could see was a bloke in the buff.
But they didn't let on, lest they seem moronic,
which, in that situation, seemed pretty ironic.
So the King was content and out went the decree
that their leader wore clothes only wise folk could see.
Soon all of his subjects were fooled by the ruse
of the 'Emperor's New Clothes' (not the 'King in the Nude').
And so the years past, and fashions moved on.
The Ruler grew crueller and the strange suit stayed on.
'Til the folk of the land, with more taxes to fear,
stopped seeing the nudity of the King's rear.
So when this mad monarch went to visit new lands
his maids didn't think to pack any spare pants.
On arrival? Arrested for being obscene.
Seems his beautiful suit had offended their Queen.
The Emperor's subjects now govern by vote
(though the PM once claimed an invisible coat).
And the King is still there, in his cell and in shock,
mulling over the fact that we all saw his –