Sunday, 16 June 2013

Pastiche Poems

I don't know about you, but I'm a big fan of bands who do the occasional cover version. Why can't poets do the same?

I've been reading a lot of William Blake lately, so I thought it'd be cool to do a pastiche of his most famous poem The Tiger

In the end, I wrote two versions: one about unattainable physical perfection, the other about procrastinating on the internet. Let me know in the comments which one you liked the best!
 
Tighter! Tighter!

Tighter! Tighter! Pull that skin!
Raise those eyebrows, lift that chin!
Clench those buttocks, punish flesh!
Strive for perfect, look your best.

In what wondrous oil or lotion
Dwells the potent magic potion?
Which bottle here contains the juice
To give us all eternal youth?

Buy every cream, spare no expense!
From wrinkles we need recompense.
Iron out the laughter lines,
Erase life lived, bamboozle time.

In moderation, exercise
To gain a pair of killer thighs.
(If that all seems too hard to do
A surgeon's knife may be for you.)

Bruised and battered, cut and slashed,
It won't be long before you're back.
Though knives and needles change your face
Still confidence proves hard to place.

Tighter! Tighter! Pull that skin!
Raise those eyebrows, lift that chin!
Clench those buttocks, punish flesh!
Strive for perfect, look your best.
 
Laptop! Laptop!

Laptop! Laptop! Burning bright
In my bedroom through the night.
Though it's late, is it a crime
To check my emails one last time?

I'll just write this and then I'm done.
I can't stop now, it's too much fun!
On Ebay, in a bidding war;
On Farmville with my highest score.

Pornography and cat photos,
Net-a-Porter for my clothes.
I have no need to go outside
Unless I catch some strong wifi.

My intellect is getting smaller:
A crawling, trolling, forum trawler.
And while no film can hold my interest
I'll spend three hours stuck on Pinterest.

My mobile phone is web-enabled
So I can browse at the dinner table.
I'll Instagram before I eat this;
Hold that thought, I need to Tweet this.

Laptop! Laptop! Burning bright
In my bedroom through the night.
Though it's late, is it a crime
To check my emails one last time?

1 comment:

  1. I lol'd; carrying through the sounds seemed quite good to me of the original. Quite like your attention.

    ReplyDelete