Always liked to cause a fuss
When lionesses sought to fight
For same sex mammal mating rights.
He called it an abomination,
Against the laws of all creation,
That three-toed sloths, Adam and Steve,
Commit such sins, as he believed.
But all the while, in his hollow
The 'potamus was wont to wallow
With young male friends, in prime of life,
Behind the back of his good wife.
The Hypocriteapotamus –
Much wiser than the rest of us –
Decried the zebras on the dole
“These lazy oiks need more control!”
“They lie to us and so commit
“such fraud to gain their benefits.
“While we endure austerity
“They get to live their lives rent free!”
The 'potamus here failed to mention
His Swiss account and tax-free pension,
The gifts sent to the Revenue
Do as I say, not as I do.
Viewed foreigners with veiled disgust
And said giraffes from foreign climes
Were all to blame for rising crime.
He feared and loathed all immigrants:
The Polish chimps and elephants,
Somali parrots, German puffins
“And yet the government do nothing!”
He railed against the Czech gazelles
“This country's going straight to hell!”
When no one understood his pain
He moved away, to sunny Spain.