Monday, 27 August 2012

The Post Office

This list poem was based on a great piece called The Museum - which I first saw performed by the Norwich Poetry Choir in 2010. Sadly, the Choir no longer performs, so this is my homage to them and their wonderful poems.

The Post Office

The Post Office sells envelopes, packing tape and stationary.
The Post Office does not sell Adult DVDs.
The Post Office will not tolerate corruption within the institutions of government and deplores autocratic regimes in both the Western and Developing Worlds.
The Post Office will scratch your back, if you scratch its.

The Post Office encourages you to think about what you have done.
The Post Office is riddled with lice.
The Post Office was constructed from bricks composed chiefly of lost postcards, missing letters and unattended baggage.
The Post Office would like to remind you not to read the walls.

The Post Office is afraid of spiders.
The Post Office will never grow old.
The Post Office regards all major deities irrelevant, unless they carry the correct postage.
The Post Office is learning the ways of your people.

The Post Office does not sell Adult DVDs.

The Post Office operates an equal opportunities policy.
The Post Office is available on a first-come, first-serve basis.
The Post Office does not believe in a thing called love.

The Post Office is an eternal, benevolent, unblinking eye.
The Post Office has windows which are painted shut.
The Post Office called for you today, and when it found that were not in, it stole the brass numbers from your door using a miniature screwdriver.
The Post Office enjoys receiving complaints.

The Post Office closes at one pm for an hour of unfulfilled introspection and existential confusion, in which members of staff are invited to partake in musings on the futility of the human condition, discussions on the pointlessness of endeavour and ritualistic sacrifice. Cakes will be provided.
The Post Office does not sell Adult DVDs.

1 comment:

  1. Splendid stuff. You may want to check out Cath Woodward's 'The Waterproof Bible' or my own 'The Oslo Girls'. If you haven't already done so :o)