If Frankenstein created his monster today,
He would not be ostracised, threatened or shunned.
His life would be captured by hacks in the Sun,
They'd fabricate his business and he'd feel betrayed.
Frustrated, our monster would take weeks away –
To exotic locations with beaches and sun –
But out of the bushes, paparazzi would come,
Desperate for photos of Frankie at play.
He'd be asked to sell perfume: Eau de Cadaver.
And, despite Rigor Mortis, get acting jobs too.
The fashionable folks would affect his skin's pallor,
So that all teenage girls glow a deathly grey hue.
To revive his flagging career, he'd take a gay lover,
And as obscurity beckoned, he'd appear on Big Brother.