Monday, 18 June 2012


In these times of economic struggle,
It's important to be well-rounded.
Hobbies and interests are what you need
To appear as though you're grounded.

A boring CV can be shunned or unnoticed –
It's the same with every profession –
It's vital to stand out as best that you can
Especially in a recession.

Although competition in all sectors is strong,
The situation's arguably worse
in the security, crime-fighting, superhero biz.
The number of applicants per position is perverse!

For example, as his hobbies only listed 'Revenge',
Batman was denied interviews.
And because the Green Lantern couldn't play the guitar
He was forced to the back of the queue.

Superman fared better, with his penchant for disguise,
He could say he worked in amateur shows.
But when he couldn't recite any Shakespeare,
It appeared that the matter was closed.

So the costumed crusaders, in the pub late one night,
Resolved to improve their variety.
They'd open a special secret hobby craft club,
The Super Heroes' Pastime Society.

The X Men came down and started a band
With Jubilee on tambourine.
Rogue on the keys and Gambit on drums
And a saxophone for Wolverine.

The Hulk started a book club with the Tick and Jean Grey,
Which all ended in such a commotion,
When an argument broke out on the merits of Twilight,
And the Hulk threw the Tick in the ocean.

Batman and Superman built model trains,
The Bat's had superior gadgets.
But Superman used his breath to win every time
And Thor dismissed trains as Black Magic.

Their hobbies and interests expanded and grew,
And they indulged further in crafts and pursuits.
Soon, all bad guys were vanquished by normal police
They was no need for those wankers in suits.

And the Supers had caused their own redundancy
By becoming better-developed and grounded.
Two-dimensional characters sometimes work best:
There's more to life than being 'well-rounded.'


  1. This is so awesome and I am REALLY sorry that all I can think is 'it's Jean grey'.

    But it's still awesome :)

    1. Argh! What a hideous faux pas! My only excuse is that I'm a history student so I must have been thinking about Lady Jane Grey when I wrote this. She was only able to rule for a short time, so I think she wanted to be in this poem to make up for that, and the beheading of course. Seriously though, thanks for the heads up. I've changed it now :)