Saturday, 24 March 2012

Dr Frankenstein Buys the Farm


They say there's something quite strange
down there on the range
and the paddocks of Hallowe'en Farm.
They say the farmer constructs
monsters out of dead ducks.
(I once saw a pig with three arms.)
The creatures he makes
are inhuman mistakes;
perversions of nature and science.
They say he has a device
that brings dead things to life.
The Devil's unholiest kitchen appliance.
I confess that I shuddered
when I saw grafted udders
on the backs of a swan and a bee.
The eight-legged mouse
made me sick in mouth.
It's an image I wish I could un-see.
They say he makes these weird creatures –
with unusual features –
to satisfy a bizarre carnal lust.
But an elephant trunk
on the face of skunk
nearly caused my eye balls to combust.
He has a herd of Roe Deer
with no eyes and no ears,
Fellow farmers view him with such scorn.
He bred a duck and an otter –
that sick, sexual nutter!
And that's how the platypus was born.

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