When we first met, you excited me
like a cerebral debate on BBC four;
a good docu-drama on the Falklands War.
But, now acquainted, it seems to me
you're more like a show on BBC three.
No Brian Cox talking physical law,
just mindless game shows. I know I'm done for.
We're one step away, now, from daytime TV.
Cash in the Attic is perilous near
and closer yet still lingers Jeremy Kyle.
Flog it!'s rotting my brain cells, that much I fear,
and I've seen enough Schofield to last me a while.
Perfect in most ways, our love could not be:
that bitch got me hooked on daytime TV.