You've asked me six times now, I assure you I'm certain,
that I will not wax the hair off my fuzzy love curtains.
While you might enjoy the plucked chicken look
I'd rather not get razor rash on my intimate nook.
I like my crotch-blossom and no matter what you say,
my short and curlies have not out-lived their stay!
My map of Tasmania will not be deforested,
and if you come near with Immac I'll have you arrested!
What's wrong with you? Have you only seen women in porn?
This is one meaty pocket that will not be shorn.
You resistance on this issue leaves very little scope for me
so I'll just flatly refuse to indulge in any pubic topiary.
No landing strip or Brazilian - my lady garden unweeded -
I might even buy extensions if my words are not heeded.
I'm a mammal not a mollusc, let me stay hairy!
Surely the twelve-year-old girl look is a little bit scary?
If we can't come to a compromise our sex life can't be saved
(and by compromise I mean that I'm not getting shaved!)