Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Eve - A Univocalism

A univocalism is a poem that contains only one vowel. This is my first attempt at one of these, and I've only used the vowel E. Let me know what you think, and see if you can spot any cheeky a, i, o or u that might have crept in!

Eve

Present tense.
Seven twenty seven PM.

Eve enters between beech trees.
Dressed decently:
red tweed dress,
her emergency dress.

Nerves peck her neck:
needles, nettles.
Pete, defenceless, smells mercy.

Serves entrée.
Entente held.
Eggshells.

Then Eve sneers.
She tells Pete he's been left.
'Jeff resembles Derek Hess,' she tells Pete,
'Nevertheless, Jeff's better.'

Perplexed, Pete begs Eve.
Eve leers, rejects Pete.
'Jeff!' She trembles, 'He's three men!'

Jekyll/Hyde/Jeff?

Pete's strength left.
Rejected, he
requests the cheque.

Eve sends Pete letters.
Eleventh September:
'Herpes?'
Eve's just desserts.

5 comments:

  1. The "Herpes" line made me laugh out loud, but I don't think you really need that stanza at all. "Rejected, he requests the check" is already a perfect ending. Overall this really is an excellent, excellent piece. I mean peece.

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  2. I really wanted to use the word herpes (which as far as I know is the only VD with only 'e' vowels in it) so I pretty much shoe-horned it in the there. I think you're right about leaving out that stanza though. Thanks for your help. It means a lot coming from a poet I admire. :)

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  3. I enjoyed this greatly. The ghost of all the distillation that must have taken place to reach this point looms behind the words like a bodyguard hanging back in the shadows.

    The knowledge of something essentially absent from the poem, (I mean, the poem could just be a poem that *happens* to contain no vowels other than e. If you hadn't pointed it out, I might not even have spotted it) but at the same time manifest in every word, changes the reading. Once you see it, you can't read the poem without it.
    When you see it, you'll shit bricks.

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  4. ...and your determination to shoe-horn herpes in is admirable. Improvisation in the field.

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  5. This is very nice.

    While I'd agree that the last stanza might jar on the page, I'd suspect that it will work if performed live. Give it a go and see what happens =)

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