Bumped into a woman and lifted her bag,
Hid round a corner and eyed up the swag:
Twelve snotty tissues, a hair brush, some fluff,
A flask of tepid tea; where's the valuable stuff?
Pick-pocketed a wallet from a man in a suit,
Slipped into an alleyway to count out the loot.
Two for one coupons from Pizza Express
And photos of his kids, nothing more, nothing less.
Pinched a tourist's backpack as she queued for the loo,
Sat down on a bench, with stolen goods to go through.
A leaflet for Tussaud's, a Union Jack souvenir
Nothing worth pilfering to be found anywhere.
The recessions affected us all, so I implore you
If you care about others, keep your handbag in full view
Instead of sending off cash to some worthy charity
Keep some pennies for a good cause, in your pockets for me.