Sunday, 6 June 2010

Attack of the Fifty Foot Fedora

When Vogue said hats were out this season
Ladies ditched their Chapeaus without rhyme or reason
The hat makers – as you'd expect – were quite cross
And hatched a plot to make up for earnings lost.
They stitched a hat fifty-foot tall (the process took hours)
And made the buttons of Uranium, to give it super powers.
Then they set it loose on down town New York
The fashion editors would pay for their idle talk!
The hat caused chaos, reducing whole blocks to rubble
The authorities knew they were in for some trouble.
With millions now dead and the streets all aflame
They realised the seriousness of the fashion game.
The police called the mayor and the mayor called the military
Who brought their tanks in to destroy the militant millinery.
Top scientists engineered shells filled with moths
Resistant to fission yet hungry for cloth.
The soldiers loaded the barrels and fired the shells
And the head-covering monster let out such a yell!
The hat was defeated and the city-folk glad
The moral? Don't mess with the hatters – they're mad!


  1. I need to do an illustration of this.

  2. O my god! You really do. I was actually trying to find an image of a big angry hat on google, but - suprising though this may sound - they didn't appear to have any! Can you imagine?